I had a bit of a break down.  I needed a break.  To much for too long. I think I may be back now.

So tonight Chenell and I are having a party.  Last year we had one as some of you may remember, I know for a fact one of you does for sure.

We are getting a hotel suite and Chenell is getting a few of her friends to come over and we are going to rip it up.  All I have to say is this years party is going to go much much much much much much much better for my wife and I this year.  Especially me!  LOL  I can’t frigging wait.  I deserve this lol.

Last year I was in such bad shape my wife had to kind of party with herself.  I mean she was definitely a great host!  Ask the guests!  However I couldn’t walk, wake up, or pee right so I wasn’t to much fun.  I’m glad she had a good time though even if it was far less fun than she deserved.  Sometimes you got to take what you can get though.

Well this year now that I am getting better she has went and thrown me a party tonight to welcome me back to “being me”!  I really need this and my dirty ‘ol man ass is going to have a blast!!

I had a bit of a freak out a while back because my twitches and fascilations came back a bit.  Then my dumb ass decided to head online and in the process I started reading about ALS and I freaked myslef out .  Imagine that horrid disease.   Thank God it was MS and not that.  I hope and pray they figure that horrid horrid disease out.

So everything is feeling better again and once again, I had this little period of sucky time, but now I feel better than I did before.

I love how my mind is working again.  My wife used to do all the finances because I couldn’t mentally understand it.  I have started to do them now.  I used to also have a real impulsive personality.  Almost Bi-Polar.  Not anymore.  In fact since I have started to do the bills, and I don’t do dumb shit anymore, our debt is going away.  I damn near have JH paid off!

I’m still suffering from some serious anxiety though but it’s all medically related.  Every twitch or sore muscle I am scared the shit is back or it’s something else.  I started to take some Ativan and it’s doing wonders and I have a appointmet with a shrink to get more.

I have found out that feeling like I do is very common for folk who live thorugh a horrid experiencne.  It may be wise for anyone doing this and getting better to seek some psychiatric help.  I’m not crazy, just a healing brain can be unbalanced.

So anyhow, as Peter from Family Guy says, “Tonight we are going to party like it’s 9!”